The problem with problem(s)
Some time ago I read the book “a short history of humanity” by Yuval Hariri. Ok — I have not read it completely, but I am working on it 😊. The reason why I really want to finish it is because it is incredibly exciting, and I had some aha-moments. But I struggle to keep reading it because it is uncomfortable. It shows what monsters humans really are. How they have systematically destroyed and are still destroying the planet and have no intention on stopping. Yes, it is very uncomfortable to look this truth in the face. But it’s also important to remind yourself of it from time to time. Maybe I don’t finish reading the book because I got it from a person who is no longer in my life, and it reminds me a bit too much of that person… Anyway.
In a conversation with an acquaintance, I recommended that she reads this book as well. When I paraphrased a bit what it was about, she shook her head vigorously and waved it off “I wouldn’t want to read something that makes me sad.”
Interesting — I thought. Well, understandable on one hand. Negativity or problems that we supposedly can’t change are uncomfortable. But no less important because of it.
I’m sure you know this from yourself and can certainly observe it again and again in everyday life. Little problems come up and you don’t pay attention to them because they are too “exhausting” to face. A simple example: buying toilet paper.
Yes, really a “little problem”, but the further you put it off, the more acute and important the problem becomes and at some point, it must be solved IMMEDIATELY (happened to me again just yesterday 😉).
It’s the same with any other problem that gets in our way. The longer we wait to solve the problem, the worse and more uncomfortable it becomes, and we feel increasingly uncomfortable, and our stomachs start to pull.
People don’t like to deal with problems. Depending on the problem, it robs us of a lot of energy, time and nerves. That’s why, whenever possible, I try not to focus on the problem, but on a possible solution. This attitude has crept into my everyday life in the office as well as in my private life.
After all, even if I try to concentrate on the solution, I still have to know and analyze the problem. Only then can I work out a sensible solution that brings my world back into balance.
Back to my example at the beginning with the book that my friend didn’t want to read because it was uncomfortable and negative. You can handle it that way — no question. But what does it change? Nothing. It doesn’t change the fact that humans are (have been) destroying the biodiversity and species diversity of our planet.
I can hear in my head right now what you are thinking: “Yes, Noemi — but it doesn’t change anything if I’m beating myself up about it now and feeling bad.”
Well, not quite. For example, the environment and sustainability: if we fly less to Thailand just once or decide against the plastic bag in the supermarket or consciously behave in a more environmentally friendly way, I think it already makes a difference. It’s the little things, right?
So how do you tackle the problem with the problem(s)?
Step 1: Identify & analyze the problem
First, you should be prepared to admit to yourself that there is a problem. Be it as a private person, employee, management, board of directors, federal councilor, world — whatever. Well, now comes the difficult and uncomfortable part: you need to ask yourself where the problem comes from, what it is doing to you, etc. Ask Auntie Google (yep, in this text Google is a woman — why wouldn’t it be?), she will spit out lots of possibilities and methods on how to tackle the problem. I’m not an expert (yet).
Step 2: Identify the added value & find a solution
This is truly an important point. If people don’t see any added value in an action or approach, then they are not willing to change anything in their behavior or mindset. Change is scary. Problem solving is scary because you must deal with it. (My therapist’s favorite part by the way, she seems to enjoy torturing me 😉)
However, as the solution is found, the added value is revealed. This starts with a feeling of relief and ends with having the problem off the table. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?
I for one LOVE problems — She said what?
Yes, no kidding, I love problems. And I deliberately do not say “challenges” here. That word glosses over something that might just be sh**. Because problems make me a better person when I get them out of the way. They help me grow. They give me insights into my limits, and allow me to grow beyond them. I like it when “the supposed harmony” is disturbed — because everything cannot always be harmonious, nor should it be. That would be a bit boring, wouldn’t it?
Step 3: Implementing the solution so that the problem becomes a positive experience
To do this, we must grab the problem by the scruff of the neck and pull it out of the ground, including the roots. Because that is where the essence is usually hiding, rooted under the ground.
Why we humans simply systematically stow problems away in the bottom drawer of the attic is and remains a mystery to me. It is important that we have People in our lives to help support us.. Maybe it is your partner who challenges you and helps you tackle the problems. Or it might be your boss who reaches out to you and gets you out of the hole you’ve fallen into. Or it is a coach, psychiatrist, naturopath — whatever helps you to face the problems. For problems in companies, there is corporate coaching, management consultancy, change management, and the list goes on. (Reference to Auntie Google)
Don’t give up! Ignoring problems does not help. They come up again and again, sometimes 5 minutes later or sometimes 50 years later. Problems are a-holes. Sorry, I am not able to paraphrase it more flowery than that.
So, maybe now I have inspired you to tackle already today a problem that has been responsible for the tugging in your stomach area for a long time. Otherwise, maybe you’ll think of me the next time you go to the bathroom and your toilet paper roll is empty.
Thank you for attending my TED Talk. Over and out.
